No More Soda
So after thinking about it for a little while, I've decided to quit drinking pop altogether, except when I order pizza. The caffeine is too addicting and really doesn't do very much to wake me up, the sugar has way too many calories and no nutrients, and the last thing I need to do is spend money on Mountain Dew. It'll be pretty hard to do -- like I said, I am addicted to it. But hopefully I'll stick to my plan. This isn't the first time I've made this resolution (or something like it), but I'm serious this time. As you'll note by the date, this isn't a New Year's resolution -- those are stupid and for losers (except if anybody reading this does those).
Speaking of spending money, I almost had to spend a couple hundred bucks on a plane ticket to Arizona to beat someone's ass. This girl was defending slavery. No hard feelings Michelle, but if you do that for even a minute, you lose style points. I'm sorry, but you're now....one sec... 373rd on the style points board, out of a possible 500. Don't feel too bad, you're still beating out John Glen and a whole lot of other people. George W. Bush is last place, by the way. That bitch is always wearing a suit and red tie, with an American flag pin. Honestly, at least change up the tie color every once a month or something. Candidates, if you're reading this, I will vote for whoever wears a Looney Tunes tie in public between now and the end of the month.
A bunch of us in our suite went to Perkins the other day and, despite Scooter's best efforts, we wound up talking about religion. One atheist, one Christian, one Quaker, and the other two I'm not sure. Anyway, the Christian guy was better than ANY standup comedian. He told my roommate John that he was going to hell for smoking -- and he meant it. He said that smoking is "just another form of suicide" because there's a chance (a pretty good one) that John will develop cancer because of it.
Final request: If anyone is voting for Bush simply because they're Christian -- will you post a comment explaining what you think about the fact that the Founding Fathers established something called separation of church and state? Also, Kerry is catholic, people. Bush makes it seem like he's a devil-worshipper. That being said, if there was a devil-worshipper on the ticket, I'd vote for him in two seconds.
Speaking of spending money, I almost had to spend a couple hundred bucks on a plane ticket to Arizona to beat someone's ass. This girl was defending slavery. No hard feelings Michelle, but if you do that for even a minute, you lose style points. I'm sorry, but you're now....one sec... 373rd on the style points board, out of a possible 500. Don't feel too bad, you're still beating out John Glen and a whole lot of other people. George W. Bush is last place, by the way. That bitch is always wearing a suit and red tie, with an American flag pin. Honestly, at least change up the tie color every once a month or something. Candidates, if you're reading this, I will vote for whoever wears a Looney Tunes tie in public between now and the end of the month.
A bunch of us in our suite went to Perkins the other day and, despite Scooter's best efforts, we wound up talking about religion. One atheist, one Christian, one Quaker, and the other two I'm not sure. Anyway, the Christian guy was better than ANY standup comedian. He told my roommate John that he was going to hell for smoking -- and he meant it. He said that smoking is "just another form of suicide" because there's a chance (a pretty good one) that John will develop cancer because of it.
Final request: If anyone is voting for Bush simply because they're Christian -- will you post a comment explaining what you think about the fact that the Founding Fathers established something called separation of church and state? Also, Kerry is catholic, people. Bush makes it seem like he's a devil-worshipper. That being said, if there was a devil-worshipper on the ticket, I'd vote for him in two seconds.
posted by Adam Canfield @ 12:59 PM
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