Do These Sunglasses Make My Head Look Too Small?

Oh my god, I can't believe the size of the sunglasses Kaycee is wearing today! She needs to like, have her freakishly tiny pinprick head examined by a medical professional! I totally don't get it. She never even puts them on, she just wears them on top of her head! Hey Lucee, you'd tell me if I ever made such a fashion faux pas, wouldn't you? I mean we're good like that, right? Ok cool, just checking. Seriously you guys, what did she smoke this morning? Who does she think she is, Lindsay Lohan? If she does she needs to lose about 78 pounds, get some freckles and dye her hair blonde. And I'm sorry, I know this is mean, but rose-colored glasses are so last year. I mean, unless you're Bono. Hey screw you Ashlee, Bono helps out with all the starving AIDS children in Africa! NO, I read in freaking Time. I do too read sometimes. Fine, I just saw the cover page, but I got the gist of the article. I like how Kaycee tries sooo hard to pull off that fake Louis Vuitton handbag. Like she makes $900 working at The Buckle. Oh, I know, I absolutely refuse to shop there when she's working. They're paid in commission. When was the last time, Cindee, that denim cutoffs were in? 1982? That's what I thought. Ugh, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear she shops at the Salvation Army or something. Oh my God, speaking of which, did you guys see The Simple Life last night? It was sooo funny. Paris acted like she hurt herself riding this horse, so she made this farmer buy her like a thousand dollars worth of clothes at the mall! I wish I could fall off a horse, like, every day. Yeah, not only did she get to ride a cool horse, I mean this horse was pimped out, but she got loads of merch as well. She's such a good actor! I mean it was totally like she broke her neck or something. You guys saw House of Wax, right? Oh my god, that movie totally freaked my shit out. I mean, I couldn't stop screaming every time the bad guy was about to kill Paris. The only bad part was, there were these two dipshit dork losers in the back row, and they kept cheering every time it looked like Paris was going to die. I know, I just hate it when these losers try to ruin movies for the rest of us. Anyways, I don't wanna be late for my manicure -- the new girl is there. Yeah, the one with the green hair. She's a freak, but she knows her fingernails. Later girls!