What If Everything Is A Lie?

So I borrowed 1984 from a guy on my floor (Nader, and yes, his dad's name is really Ralph Nader), and finally finished it today. It's one of the most horrifying books I've ever read -- I don't mean graphically or the nuances of the plot, but the simple idea behind it is truly terrifying. What if man was to become so subordinate to the ruling class that he cold be told bold, outright falsehoods, things which he and every other person knew to be false, but would still believe them? There's a part where the main character Winston writes in his diary (in itself an act punishable by torture and death) that, "freedom is the freedom to declare that two and two make four," yet by the end of the book he is so broken that he says two and two make five, if that's what the Party (the ruling class) wants him to think. The scariest part is the idea of "doublethink," which is to both believe something is true and false at the same time. It's best embodied in the Party slogan which is plastered everywhere:

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Winston's tormentors tell him what the future will be like: "You want a picture of the future? Imagine a boot stomping on a human face, forever." It's a world where the past does not exist -- if someone is sent to the Ministry of Love (where torture and killing occurs), they are totally wiped out of all records and past newspapers, etc. They never existed. Alright, done being morbid for now.

Update: The person about whom the "somebody hates me" post was written still has me blocked on IM, even after I called and apologized for my childish jokes. All this over an argument about vegetables....Also, I am shocked and amused by the vast differences in my readership and the vicious hatred which spewed forth on the comment page, which is now about 3 times longer than my original post.

In other news, I finally found someone who likes Sealab on [adult swim]. Jeff, a member of the jazz band, actually declared that I was a fool for not liking Sealab, which is possibly the most idiotic (more so than Aqua Teen, even) show on television. Speaking of visual entertainment, I really really want to see Sin City and am strongly considering making the pilgrimage to the movie theater (it takes about an hour on foot to get there) to see it -- if only there weren't four movies coming out that I really really want to see -- Sin City, Kung Fu Hustle (screw you it looks hilarious), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and of course Episode III. Not having a car sucks sometimes. By the way, have any of you seen Sin City, and would you recommend/not recommend it? Bottom Line: Read 1984, stop hating each other, and watch Sin City (not Sealab).

Oh, What's The Use?

After what seems like countless vicious comments on this blog, I've decided to discontinue it. I mean, what's the use in posting any more if this one particular person hates it? The negative comments are crushing my soul and eroding my already weak spirit, and my self-esteem is suffering, too. I can't seem to think of anything to write, I'm just so gosh darn depressed by people that hate me. It's like....it's like I can't think straight any more. The words just don't want to come to me. This might be a little dramatic, but goodbye forever, dear friends and enemies. I don't know why you force me to do this, but I like to think it's been good. I'm getting a little teary-eyed just writing this. Maybe....(sniff)...maybe we'll....we'll meet together in dreams.

This Piece To Be Read Exclusively To The Accompaniment Of "Somebody Hates Me" By Reel Big Fish

Every once in a while, with teasing and coerceing, a little bit of honesty slips out of people. It's kinda like a nipple slip with celebrities, but instead of nipples it's truth. Blessed, pure, unrestrained, hateful, vile, rancid truth. As far as an intro to the quote we are about to receive, well, it speaks for itself. Someone (NO I will not tell you who) said this about me. And He Quoteth, "adam, I'm a grown adult with a lot of shit on [my] plate right now and I don't need some lonely, self-righteous, selfish bastard telling me..." Suffice it to say that this is an excerpt of a conversation during which one of the participants got pissed. Rather than doing something juvenile (oh alright this is extremely juvenile), I've decided to critically evaluate myself and respond to these statements.

1: Lonely. This is very true, I had a wonderful relationship with a girl back in high school, but have been girlfriend-less (as some astute readers have observed) since then. Can I fix this problem? Sure, I just have to (according to hollywood) be either rich, successful, good-looking, or wearing expensive clothing. Well I'm not poor but I'm not rich either, so that's out the window, I like to think I look decent if I bother to shave, I enjoy a moderate amount of success (in general), but I don't wear expensive clothing. Hitting on 1.5 cylinders out of 4 or so. Yes, I will admit that I can get lonely.

2: Self-Righteous. Hoo boy. I subscribe (the monthly fee is really quite modest) to the Ayn Rand school of philosophy, which advocates selfishness (we'll get to that later), but self-righteousness is different. "Sure of one's own righteousness," I guess that sorta applies to everybody, otherwise we wouldn't have the opinions we do. Am I more self-righteous than others? Well, I tend to think that the morals, attitudes, and opinions that I have are the best, so yes. To the point of "neener neener, I'm better than you?" Occasionally, yes, but usually in jest.

3: Selfishness. Dead On. I am a selfish bastard. The method I normally use is the image of a wheel like you'd find on a bicycle, spokes and all. I think of myself as the center of the wheel (ha ha yes, everything revolves around me), because in my own life, I am the most important person. Isn't that the way it should be? Whose life is it, again? Oh yeah, it's MINE. I was given (for whatever reason), about 80 years to spend on a rapidly spinning, blue-green ball. I'm going to try and enjoy those 80 years as much as possible. While I am the center of the wheel, the spokes are also present, and necessary for supporting the wheel as a whole. Without any spokes the wheel would not exist. The spokes are other people and other causes different from my own. Family and friends. So while the focal point of the structure is the center (me), the spokes (everybody else) are also crucial.

As an editorial, using selfish and self-righteousness together is pretty sloppy work. And, on the other hand, is that really all that's wrong with me? Kickass! Two of those things I like, and the other one I hope to fix soon. Note, also, the conspicuous absence of phrases like "and you smell funny" or "you're a poser," or "you're a retard." Political Correctness be damned.

So, in summary, virtually nothing is wrong with me. Oh, and yes, build the flowing golden shrine to me somewhere cool, like Iceland. That way people will have to make a pilgrimage.

Everything's Gonna Be Alright, Youngblood's Gonna Rock Ya Tonight.

Well, well. It's been a really long time since I rapped at ya. If you read the last post, you'll see something about an "Elmhurst Jazz Festival," which the jazz band attended. We did indeed rock the casbah, but it wasn't quite the cakewalk I envisioned. There was something like 40 or 50 jazz groups there from all over the country, not just the midwest. The best jazz band was probably Elmhurst's own band -- and also the funniest. Before playing, they could be heard quite well (above the crowd noise) screaming their lungs out in a practice room. The director assured us that this was some sort of sacred tradition, and not a primitive ritual of sacrifice. I can't say that I approved of some of the genres that were represented there, though. Since when did "8 amazingly, blindingly white kids singing a cappella about biblical figures" become a genre. You laugh heartily, perhaps clutching your beverage so as to ensure it doesn't spill, but yes. The 8 bright (perhaps not) college students from Somewhere, Missouri were singing about David and Goliath in a be-bop sort of fashion. I laughed until I couldn't laugh any more. Robbie (who is our drummer and also a devout Christian) pulled out a bible (the concert was in an enormous chapel, pews and all), immediately found the verse, and said, "I think I like this version better." Probably the highlight of the entire event, other than the excessive drinking, (just kidding, mom) was seeing the Dave Holland Quintet -- very very very good. That's the very old news.

The semi-old news is that our 25th Annual Rootabaga Festival was fan-freaking-tastic. I hereby guilt-trip anyone who goes here and didn't go to it into going next year. The best part other than playing at the Orpheum Theatre was listening to a new group called the Youngblood Brass Band. Some of you are familiar with them -- ask me and I'll send you one or three of their songs. They're extremely diverse and very catchy. Also Matt Wilson, who is a famous drummer, was there with his group Arts and Crafts, and I got to shake his hand and exchange funny stories with him.

Enough Jazz Stuff! I know everyone doesn't love jazz like I do. Flunk Day approaches, its date unknown. Flunk Day is when everything is canceled and people party all day long. Needless to say, it's a good thing. It usually occurs between mid-April and early May. It is announced by massive amounts of drunken seniors known as The Friars banging pots and pans (yes, literally) and blowing whistles and shouting and basically being as loud as possible. This all happens at around 7 a.m, the partying starts early in the morning. What else, what else...WONDER SHOWZEN! You must watch that show. MTV 2, Friday at 9:30/8:30 central. Most messed up show in a looong time. It's like a kids show but not for kids. I can't even describe how bizarre and disturbing it is. All you need to do is to read the warning shown before it returns from commercial: WARNING: WONDER SHOWZEN CONTAINS OFFENSIVE, DISPICIBLE CONTENT THAT IS TOO CONTROVERSIAL AND TOO AWESOME FOR ACTUAL CHILDREN. THE STARK, UGLY, PROFOUND TRUTHS WONDER SHOWZEN EXPOSES MAY BE SOUL CRUSHING TO THE WEAK OF SPIRIT. IF YOU ALLOW A CHILD TO WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU ARE A BAD PARENT OR GUARDIAN.

In other news, I've decided to forego the housing lottery next year and live in the Jazz House. Yeah, we have a Jazz House, where you can live if you happen to be into that kinda thing (being in the band helps but isn't a prerequisite).

Other news, you say? I really don't have any other news, other than that I'm approaching Methuselah's age. Being 20 is weird but it doesn't feel that different. What about relationship news, you say? Very little to report, I'm afraid. We'll see how it gows later on in the term as parties are attended and flirtations made. Hopefully I'll be updating this more often. I leave you with this thought. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." ~ George Carlin.