When Is It A Bad Time To Say I Love You?

Nearly everyone likes to hear the phrase "I love you," but when is it inappropriate or unappreciated? Here are some possible scenarios: You've just finished a jazz band concert and you tell a female member of the jazz band named Selena (who you secretly have a middle-school type crush on) "I love you," in passing. That's probably a bad thing. How will she take it, you wonder as you walk by her. She looks at you, puzzled, for a minute then says your name and waves to you. Did she think you were serious? Did she hope you were serious? Did she dismiss it as an after-concert thing to say? Did YOU dismiss it as an after-conert "good job" type of thing to say? Did she secretly hope that you didn't mean it in passing, and really liked or loved her? Who fucking cares, anyway?
Another possible situation where "I love you" doesn't work: Getting a colonoscopy by a very large, burly male doctor. It'd probably freak him out major league.
Also, a fishing trip with some of the guys is definitely the wrong place to throw in an "I love you." However, the distinction must be made between "I love you," and "I love you guys." They are totally different, even though separated by only one word.

A recent poll of people I care about was done concerning accents, and the conclusion was made that a guy with an accent looks like an asshole who is trying to "pick up chicks," if you will allow use of the vernacular, while a female of the species with an accent (especially Russian, it seems) is not only acceptable, but highly attractive. Why do guys find an accent sexy? Is it the unknown that we find interesting, or the actual manner of speech itself? Or are chicks with accents simply hot, as more than one friend has pointed out?

Your mission tonight, loyal reader, is to describe a possible scenario where "I love you" would be wholly inappropriate, or talk about why accents are/are not sexy.