Degenerative Brain Disorders and Other Reasons Why Your Professor Wears a Sweater From 1977

The sleet is sleeting, the roads are frozen, and I'm warm and dry in my dorm room. That's right kiddies, Adam got a class canceled today. So at my Biology class, the professor shows up and says, "If I was an ordinary professor, I wouldn't have come in today. But I like to walk to campus, and the sidewalks aren't nearly as bad as the roads are." Apparently my Psychology professor is an ordinary professor, because I got an email saying that she couldn't make it in because of the weather. Speaking of professors, my Bio prof is hilarious. He's only like 30 years old, but he's got the trappings of the senile old professor already. He's got the requisite fuzzy sweater made in the 70s, the glasses, and the really awful jokes. This morning's was especially bad. We were discussing mitosis and he says, "A female member of the department liked to say, 'Mitosis happens in my toeses, and meiosis happens in my ovaries.' Of course, that doesn't really apply to me, and, 'Meiosis happens in my testes' doesn't really rhyme, so it uh, doesn't exactly work for the males...."

After this bombshell of a joke is dropped on the classroom, a stunned silence filled the air. After what seemed like years, a few of the "teacher's pet" - type of students laughed in a manner that can only be described as "hesitant." If I could read minds, I'm sure theirs would be something like: Oh my God, what the hell was that joke about? Did he just make a joke about a joke about Mitosis and Meiosis. Sweet Jesus, that was awful. You could see the pained expressions on their faces, and it was obvious that these individuals either had a truly terrible sense of humor, or were fucking diehard teacher's pets. The look on their faces was something like what you get when you have exceptionally violent diarrhea, or when you get punched in the gut. Kind of a painful and nauseating combination.

Yep, if you haven't figured it out already, I'm back at school in chilly Illinois. Also, if you hadn't figured it out until just now, please stop reading this blog forever. Seriously. You better not keep reading after this entry, I swear to god. Don't even check my profile for new entries, asshole.